Clearly, I’ve been lying to myself about how I feel about you.
I’ve been fighting this ongoing battle of the constant “he loves me, he loves me not.”
But instead of rose petals being plucked, it was tears that were being wiped away from my face.
Me. Growing excruciatingly bitter each moment I thought of you and her.
Yet,I was the last one you spoke to before you laid your on your pillow; and the first one who helped you shake the cobwebs from your mind as you awoke.
What am I to you? Never have I been so deathly plagued with the trouble of love.
I leave that pool of emotion for the ones I loved the most to endure, while I lent a shoulder or an ear for support.
When it comes to you, all of my common sense heads out the window.
Even when you just treat me like one of the “others.”
Yet when I return the favor, hot venom is spewed , words not meant to be said are spoken and then we are no longer speaking. Dude, what do you want from me?
I give up.
You are worse than a puzzle composed of 1000 pieces.
I see you as an Egyptian tomb composed of so many chambers; when I stepped to quickly, my doom was met.
Maybe I am just stupid.
Dumb for depriving myself of sleep and the love that I deserve.
Dumb for keeping you on constant replay in my mind.
Dumb as hell for loving you as much as I do.