Category Archives: Life

Life is Good I Can’t Complain…I mean I could But no one’s Listening..

Ever feel like that sometimes? Like the whole world is on your shoulders yet you have no one to turn to?

I haven’t written a blog in a good while.A new job, college and friends can definately occupy a good amount of time.

I have to say though. Since the last time I’ve written, I have grown. I can FINALLY say I am comfortable in my own skin and it did not have to be due to a specific person or action. I just love me.

But I can say that it is due to my faith. When I learned to officially “Let Go and Let God” things fell into place. It may not have been the way I initially wanted to, but it turned out the way GOD wanted it to. And that is fine by me.I loved, I lost, I gained, I rekindled, and I forgave.

Forgave those who hurt me and most importantly I forgave myself.
If the Creator of all things can forgive the most awful of sins, why can’t I? What makes me so special?

Just a thought for the night. I will try to improve my writings.

Now Playing: Johnny Diaz (:

One of those nights..

After being sick and utterly miserable for the past few days, I decided to blog. Its one of those nights where there is a whole lot on my mind and no matter how much I talk about it, I cannot fully come to terms with what I’m feeling.

But before I go into the serious stuff, I must say that even after its been off the air for over five years, I have come to adore Sex and the City. Sarah Jessica Parker=AMAZING

Okay, anywho. Today I found out that someone who was as close to me…passed earlier this week. This woman..I considered invincible. She was so strong and sweet and loved me. Its been nearly a decade since I’ve last spoken to her.The resounding nagging of mother is on constant replay in my head “Maquita, send Ms. Nellie a picture, she wants to see you,” and I would always walk away with the thought of me doing it later. Well my later never came. Nor will it ever.

It is the funniest thing how people always save their apologies until the person is no longer able to accept them. It seems as if the flood of emotion is always felt after the opportunity has passed, everything you ever did wrong, is finally realized and there is nothing that can possibly be done to fix it. It sucks.

But after today, I realized how selfish I have been to those who I claim to love the most.  Selfish for not giving them all the love that they deserve. Putting myself first in everything I do, instead of thinking about how it may affect those around me.

8 days ago, a woman walked into my office asking how have I made a difference in the world around me. I mentioned how great of a friend I am to those I call my friends, and as I was speaking, I couldn’t help but think it was not nearly enough than what I could have done. Yeah I listen, I nod my head at the right times, say the words that I truly think and give a hug or two through the tearful ordeal, but is that really enough to help change my world?

hmmm…well I don’t really know what to say..this blog is getting jumbled and I know my readers wont understand..but yeah.                 I don’t think I can make a career about this blogging thing (: my mind is a little too far out.

A new blog post thingy..

It's my brothers Birthday Weekend so happy happy happy Birthdayyy to him ❤ I love you!

10:01pm

First off….something’s gotta give starring Diane Keaton is an extremely cute movie…just had to say that

Well..today I feel changed…or whatever that means. These past two weeks have been a rollercoaster for me. I’ve fought with those I never I would have to..I loved on those I never thought needed it…and prayed for those who I thought I had everything.  Life has been throwing curveballs at many people lately. And all I’ve been hearing is “why me, what about john and jane who always do this and this and never do that, why couldn’t it happen to them?” I think every obstacle should be used as an opportunity to be overturned into a blessing. Instead of complaining and blaming what happened 50 million years ago on your current status, why not turn it around and fix it? 

  But as for me feeling “changed,” I feel as if I need to do something to make a difference in this world.  Yeah being there for friends and helping out others whenever I can is cool and all, but I feel as if I need to do more. I mean crime, domestic violence and  rape, is going on all around even in the county I just recently moved from where I never thought it possible. I think it would be selfish of me to just shrug it off and continue to be absorbed in only what was going on in my bubble. I don’t know. I know it will be a subject that I will expand on later down the road. But I do know that I am going to make a change. What will it be? I don’t know.

But for those who I havent spoken to in a while, just know that I love yall and I hope everything is going peachykeen on your side of town.

BTW: I am SO late but, Sugarland’s new album The Incredible Machine is FABULOUS.Even if you don’t think you like country, it isn’t so much country-ish. It has a Rock, Pop Hip-hop sound which is great. I recommend Tonight and Every Girl Like Me.

Peace and Love always

-MAD

10:33